You should take religion as a standard, and the pleasure of Allah as a scale. The one who benefits you with regard to your religion, hold on to him, unless you cannot endure his companionship. The one who harms you in this regard, cut him off and forsake him, unless you are compelled to keep his company. In this case, such companionship is considered a necessity, and necessities overrule prohibitions (i.e. permit what is normally forbidden), provided that such company does not exceed the scope of necessity.

As for the one who does not harm you with regard to your religion nor benefit you with regard to your worldly life, but he is a pleasant and enjoyable person to be around, you should settle for enjoying his pleasant personality provided that such companionship does not prevent you from carrying out your duties or lead you to futility or sin.

As for the companions who cannot be classified under any of these categories, they are the ones about whom an Arab poet said (translation of meaning):

Online Quran Course

 Grab a pen and paper and try to write down the names of all your friends, and then classify them into categories. You will discover that some of them are not really friends but rather casual companions.

One of them may be your fellow commuter whom you meet every day on the bus or tram. He greets you, so you greet him, and he asks you a question, so you answer him. He requests that you close the window, and if you do, he thanks you, or he steps on your foot and, if he realizes it, he apologizes. A word leads to a smile, and a smile leads to a chat, and as the days pass, you find yourselves exchanging greetings and talking to each other as if you were close friends, although you may not even know his  name nor have any clue about what he really is!

Another one on your list is the work colleague. You may be an employee, and his office is opposite to yours, and you see him all day long. You may be a worker, and his machine is right next to yours. Or he may be working with you in the same store, or his store is next to yours in the marketplace. You spend more time with him than with your own family, and you meet with him more often than you meet with your friends and loved ones! You may share moments of seriousness, humor, contentment, and anger with him, while the two of you have totally different appearances, minds, and backgrounds.

Online Quran Course

 Another companion may be pious, helpful to his friends, and complying with the Limits of Allah. He does not commit sins nor engage in forbidden acts, but he is ignorant of the proper etiquettes of social interactions, table manners, and all the common norms of decorum. Such a person would disgust you and get on your nerves.

There is also the foolish and vulgar, or the reckless and foul, or the one who befriends you for your prestige or high position. He uses you as an adornment for today and an asset for tomorrow. To him, you are a trophy on the wall!

In brief, we can say that there are five different categories of companions: 1) a companion who is like the air; you cannot dispense with him, 2) a companion who is like food; you cannot live without him, but it may taste bad or be difficult to digest, 3) a companion who is like a medicine that tastes bitter but sometimes is necessary, 4) a  companion who is like wine; it delights the one who drinks it but ruins his health and honor, and 5) a companion who is like a calamity that befalls you.

Online Quran Course

 

As for the companion who is like air, it is he who benefits you with regard to your religion and worldly life. You enjoy his friendship, and you find delight in his company.

The companion who is like food is he who benefits you with regard to your worldly life and religion but sometimes annoys you due to his roughness, lack of a sense of humor, and harsh nature.

As for the companion who is like medicine that tastes bitter, he is the one whom you may need and benefit of, but you do not approve of his religiosity nor enjoy his company.

The one who is like wine is he who helps you satisfy your pleasures and gratify your desires, but he corrupts your moral character and incurs loss on you in the Hereafter.

Finally, the companion who is like a calamity is he who does not benefit you with regard to your worldly life or religion, nor do you enjoy his companionship or conversation, but you inevitably have to keep his company.

Online Quran Course

 

Praise be to Allah, The Exalted. May peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) his family, Companions, and whoever follows his example.

It is becoming of a Muslim to adhere to all that adorns him of noble traits and shun all that disgraces and discredits him.

One of the noble traits that are befitting of a Muslim is Waqaar (dignity). We can (fairly) say that dignity is a moral attribute generated by the adherence to a number of noble morals, such as forbearance, serenity, composure gentleness, and steadfastness. This is why it was defined as: “Deliberateness towards the realization of wants.”

Al-Jaahith defined it as follows: “Refraining from idle talk, futility, unnecessary gesturing and movement, keeping anger in check, listening attentively before asking questions, deliberateness in giving answers, guarding against haste, and promptness with regard to all matters.”

The pure Islamic Sharee‘ah was keen on adorning the believers with dignity. With regard to establishing one of the key obligations in Islam, the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) urged the Muslims to adhere to dignity. He  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ) said: “If you hear the Iqaamah (second call to prayer), walk to the prayer with tranquility and dignity, and do not hasten your pace (to join the congregational prayer). Perform of the prayer what you catch up with (i.e. with the Imaam) and complete what you missed.”

Online Quran Course

  You may also find on the list a traveling companion whom you meet on a train and share the desire to ward off boredom. You exchange greetings and small talk, or make some observations on what you see and hear during the journey. Within a few hours, you share food and you fall asleep in the same space. The barriers between you start to fall and you see and know about one another what only your household members or close relatives would see or know about you, although you are totally unrelated and you have no brotherly affection for each other.

There is also the coffee house companion, the sports companion, and many other different categories of companions. Your relationship with some of them might last for long until you start calling them ‘friends’, but they are not friends. You neither picked them willingly to be your friends nor chose their companionship, but life put them in your way and burdened you with them. If you do not conduct an inventory of them the way a merchant conducts an inventory of his merchandise then you vet them and only keep the good ones and cast away the bad ones, you would not know down which abyss such friendships lead you. A companion drags his companions down the path he is treading, and they tend to follow his example.

Online Quran Course

  You may accompany a person down a path or a journey or know him from work and interact with him friendly as courteously as a well-mannered person should interact with others while being unaware of his life. He would become associated with you, and he becomes known as your “friend,” and his evils would affect you accordingly. You may be harmed by such association, and he may become a source of disgrace to you. He may also influence you in a way you are unaware of. Every word you hear can be likened to a seed thrown into a fertile land; it may be a good seed that generates goodness within you, or an evil one that gives rise to evil within you. Many righteous people were corrupted because they kept the company of a wicked person who changed their state drastically and made life misery for them. Conversely, many wicked people were rectified and became righteous because they kept the company of the righteous. A person may be safe from his sinful urges on his own and distract himself from them with knowledge or art, or practicing spiritual or physical exercise, but a wicked companion may come along, out of the blue, to trigger such sinful urges within him and cause him to taste their bitterness.

Online Quran Course