Another is the one who is willing to help and please his friends but would not mind compromising his own religion in the process. He may betray the trusts and undermine his honor for the sake of his friends, helping them commit sins, devour people’s rights, and steal their wealth. He perceives such compromise acceptable and allowable for the sake of friendship! Such a companion takes your hand until he leads you to Hellfire with him!

Another companion may be pious, helpful to his friends, and complying with the Limits of Allah. He does not commit sins nor engage in forbidden acts, but he is ignorant of the proper etiquettes of social interactions, table manners, and all the common norms of decorum. Such a person would disgust you and get on your nerves.

There is also the foolish and vulgar, or the reckless and foul, or the one who befriends you for your prestige or high position. He uses you as an adornment for today and an asset for tomorrow. To him, you are a trophy on the wall!

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 Al-Hasan Al-Basri  may  Allah  have  mercy  upon  him said: “A man would pursue knowledge, and soon it would show in his earnest fear of Allah, decorum, sayings, gazes, and righteousness.”

When a person’s heart is alive and his face is adorned with bashfulness, he is prompted to adhere to dignity. He reveres other people, and they revere him in return, and he becomes characterized by dignity.

The more a person venerates and glorifies his Lord, the more people revere him. Whoever glorifies and venerates Allah, The Exalted, He will instill the love and reverence for him in the hearts of people.

On the other hand, the one who takes the Rights of Allah lightly, and the reverence for his Lord weakens in his heart, thus emboldening him to commit sins and transgress against His Limits and neglect His Commands and Obligations, Allah, The Exalted, will not cast reverence for him or awe of him into people’s hearts. Even if some people revere him to avoid his evil, it is a false reverence that is founded on hatred rather than love or admiration.

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 The more a person venerates and glorifies his Lord, the more people revere him. Whoever glorifies and venerates Allah, The Exalted, He will instill the love and reverence for him in the hearts of people.

On the other hand, the one who takes the Rights of Allah lightly, and the reverence for his Lord weakens in his heart, thus emboldening him to commit sins and transgress against His Limits and neglect His Commands and Obligations, Allah, The Exalted, will not cast reverence for him or awe of him into people’s hearts. Even if some people revere him to avoid his evil, it is a false reverence that is founded on hatred rather than love or admiration.

Finally, let us ponder over these beautiful verses composed by an Arab poet (translation of meaning): “Speak the truth, refrain from vain and idle talk, and do not use vulgar language or promote suspicions. Be dignified; speak less, and think more. When you speak, do not give prolonged speeches; do not hasten to answer a question without deliberation, and do not answer a question that was not directed to you.”

We ask Allah, The Exalted, to adorn us with faith and bless us with dignity.

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 Grab a pen and paper and try to write down the names of all your friends, and then classify them into categories. You will discover that some of them are not really friends but rather casual companions.

One of them may be your fellow commuter whom you meet every day on the bus or tram. He greets you, so you greet him, and he asks you a question, so you answer him. He requests that you close the window, and if you do, he thanks you, or he steps on your foot and, if he realizes it, he apologizes. A word leads to a smile, and a smile leads to a chat, and as the days pass, you find yourselves exchanging greetings and talking to each other as if you were close friends, although you may not even know his  name nor have any clue about what he really is!

Another one on your list is the work colleague. You may be an employee, and his office is opposite to yours, and you see him all day long. You may be a worker, and his machine is right next to yours. Or he may be working with you in the same store, or his store is next to yours in the marketplace. You spend more time with him than with your own family, and you meet with him more often than you meet with your friends and loved ones! You may share moments of seriousness, humor, contentment, and anger with him, while the two of you have totally different appearances, minds, and backgrounds.

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 You may also find on the list a traveling companion whom you meet on a train and share the desire to ward off boredom. You exchange greetings and small talk, or make some observations on what you see and hear during the journey. Within a few hours, you share food and you fall asleep in the same space. The barriers between you start to fall and you see and know about one another what only your household members or close relatives would see or know about you, although you are totally unrelated and you have no brotherly affection for each other.

There is also the coffee house companion, the sports companion, and many other different categories of companions. Your relationship with some of them might last for long until you start calling them ‘friends’, but they are not friends. You neither picked them willingly to be your friends nor chose their companionship, but life put them in your way and burdened you with them. If you do not conduct an inventory of them the way a merchant conducts an inventory of his merchandise then you vet them and only keep the good ones and cast away the bad ones, you would not know down which abyss such friendships lead you. A companion drags his companions down the path he is treading, and they tend to follow his example.

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 You should take religion as a standard, and the pleasure of Allah as a scale. The one who benefits you with regard to your religion, hold on to him, unless you cannot endure his companionship. The one who harms you in this regard, cut him off and forsake him, unless you are compelled to keep his company. In this case, such companionship is considered a necessity, and necessities overrule prohibitions (i.e. permit what is normally forbidden), provided that such company does not exceed the scope of necessity.

As for the one who does not harm you with regard to your religion nor benefit you with regard to your worldly life, but he is a pleasant and enjoyable person to be around, you should settle for enjoying his pleasant personality provided that such companionship does not prevent you from carrying out your duties or lead you to futility or sin.

As for the companions who cannot be classified under any of these categories, they are the ones about whom an Arab poet said (translation of meaning):

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 Grab a pen and paper and try to write down the names of all your friends, and then classify them into categories. You will discover that some of them are not really friends but rather casual companions.

One of them may be your fellow commuter whom you meet every day on the bus or tram. He greets you, so you greet him, and he asks you a question, so you answer him. He requests that you close the window, and if you do, he thanks you, or he steps on your foot and, if he realizes it, he apologizes. A word leads to a smile, and a smile leads to a chat, and as the days pass, you find yourselves exchanging greetings and talking to each other as if you were close friends, although you may not even know his  name nor have any clue about what he really is!

Another one on your list is the work colleague. You may be an employee, and his office is opposite to yours, and you see him all day long. You may be a worker, and his machine is right next to yours. Or he may be working with you in the same store, or his store is next to yours in the marketplace. You spend more time with him than with your own family, and you meet with him more often than you meet with your friends and loved ones! You may share moments of seriousness, humor, contentment, and anger with him, while the two of you have totally different appearances, minds, and backgrounds.

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